gift giving

One of the lessons that we learned early in our days in Japan is that you can't outgive a Japanese person. Gift giving and reciprocation is culturall very important. At both summertime and New Year there are special gifts to those you feel indebted to, typically a superior. At these times of year shop shelves are filled with special gift packages just for the occasion. When you go on holiday (even if just for a night) you would bring back a gift from that area, and again Japanese hotels and airports are well stocked with just the right sort of thing. In general, if you receive a gift, whether for the birth of a baby, during a stay in hospital, you should think about giving a small gift back in return. Until they give an appropriate gift, some Japanese feel burdened with this sense of obligation. At Easter we thought it would be nice to take some decorated eggs to each of neighbours, mentioning that we were celebrating Easter that day. Only three boiled eggs - we thought that would be small enough. Not so, however. At one house the lady insisted on searching in her cupboard and produced a big bag of chocolates (which of course the boys were delighted to receive). That evening our doorbell rang and there stood another of our neighbours with a bag of three different boxes of chocolate, from a very nice shop. She had obviously gone out specially to buy these. They were probably worth 20 times the boiled eggs. But that lady probably felt better once she had given something back. How hard it is too for many Japanese to receive the free gift of the gospel.